2008 Woodie Awards
News Briefs
Staff
Issue date: 10/2/07 Section: News/Features
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More O'Reilly Bigotry!
Bill O'Reilly, who has been featured in Orbis news briefs more frequently than perhaps any other person, recently utilized his radio edition of "The O'Reilly Factor" to express his surprise that his dining experience at a restaurant in Harlem, owned by African Americans was so...well, so much like eating at a restaurant owned by white people! According to a pleasantly surprised O'Reilly, "There wasn't any craziness at all" there. You can't help but wonder what sort of craziness Bill expected. It's pretty pathetic when someone's apparent ignorance about interacting with people of other races seems to surpass even that of the Vanderbilt student body.
Craig's behavior inspires noble men's bathroom reforms
The Minneapolis International Airport, where Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig (R-ID) was recently arrested for lewd conduct in a men's restroom, has announced that it will install longer dividers between toilet stalls in order to discourage raunchy stall-to-stall liaisons between throne jockeys. Over the next two months, the Metropolitan Airports Commission will spend $25,000 making the renovations to two of the airport's busiest restrooms -- perhaps the single largest impact Sen. Craig has made during his 27-year career in Congress.
A Sentence You Thought You'd Never Read
The comic strip "Funky Winkerbean" has found itself at the center of a raging controversy. Yeah, that's right. Fans of the strip are angry with creator Tom Batiuk for his decision to subject popular character Lisa Moore to an agonizing battle with cancer -- a struggle that she appears unlikely to survive. "You are a man who seems to be without any idea of the pain you are inflicting," a fan wrote to Batiuk on TheCancerBlog.com. Now if only Dagwood Bumstead would get hepatitis or something…
McCain argues that the U.S. is a "Christian nation"
In a recent interview with Beliefnet, presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain (R-Nev.) argued that the Constitution establishes the U.S. as a "Christian nation." According to McCain, "the number one issue people should make [in the] selection of the President of the United States is, will this person carry on in the Judeo-Christian principled tradition that has made this nation the greatest experiment in the history of mankind?" McCain went on to mention his uneasiness with the possibility of a Muslim president at any point in the future, although he qualified this comment by noting that he "admires the Islam."
Bill O'Reilly, who has been featured in Orbis news briefs more frequently than perhaps any other person, recently utilized his radio edition of "The O'Reilly Factor" to express his surprise that his dining experience at a restaurant in Harlem, owned by African Americans was so...well, so much like eating at a restaurant owned by white people! According to a pleasantly surprised O'Reilly, "There wasn't any craziness at all" there. You can't help but wonder what sort of craziness Bill expected. It's pretty pathetic when someone's apparent ignorance about interacting with people of other races seems to surpass even that of the Vanderbilt student body.
Craig's behavior inspires noble men's bathroom reforms
The Minneapolis International Airport, where Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig (R-ID) was recently arrested for lewd conduct in a men's restroom, has announced that it will install longer dividers between toilet stalls in order to discourage raunchy stall-to-stall liaisons between throne jockeys. Over the next two months, the Metropolitan Airports Commission will spend $25,000 making the renovations to two of the airport's busiest restrooms -- perhaps the single largest impact Sen. Craig has made during his 27-year career in Congress.
A Sentence You Thought You'd Never Read
The comic strip "Funky Winkerbean" has found itself at the center of a raging controversy. Yeah, that's right. Fans of the strip are angry with creator Tom Batiuk for his decision to subject popular character Lisa Moore to an agonizing battle with cancer -- a struggle that she appears unlikely to survive. "You are a man who seems to be without any idea of the pain you are inflicting," a fan wrote to Batiuk on TheCancerBlog.com. Now if only Dagwood Bumstead would get hepatitis or something…
McCain argues that the U.S. is a "Christian nation"
In a recent interview with Beliefnet, presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain (R-Nev.) argued that the Constitution establishes the U.S. as a "Christian nation." According to McCain, "the number one issue people should make [in the] selection of the President of the United States is, will this person carry on in the Judeo-Christian principled tradition that has made this nation the greatest experiment in the history of mankind?" McCain went on to mention his uneasiness with the possibility of a Muslim president at any point in the future, although he qualified this comment by noting that he "admires the Islam."
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