The Orbis

I sat patiently in Sarratt Cinema with a good number of my peers (the auditorium was nearly full) and listened intently and excitedly to Hedy Weinberg, Executive Director of the Tennessee ACLU and Victor Anderson, Professor at Vanderbilt University Divinity School, support the fight for equal access to marriage for same-sex couples and the rights afforded thereof. I also listened, not so excitedly, as Randy Hicks, President of the Georgia Family Council and Larry Crain, attorney with Brentwood Law Offices, attempted to explain why America needs to "defend" marriage against queer couples.

Of course, the typical rhetoric concerning protecting children, the sanctity of marriage, and the family arose. Just to let everyone know, you don't need to protect marriage. I don't want to break it or steal it or destroy it. I just want to be afforded the same rights that heterosexual couples enjoy.

I don't want any special rights. I don't want to kill Jesus, destroy the church, murder innocent children or abolish marriage. For me, this issue stems from equal access to rights, plain and simple. This has nothing to do with religion. In fact, I could care less whether churches across this great nation do anything to increase the equality of same-sex couples. I applaud the churches and other religious institutions that support the rights of queer couples. I also realize that religious bodies have the right in this country not to recognize those couples. Fine with me.

I have only one question to those who do not support same-sex marriage. Who do you think I am?

I'm not some sick, depraved child molester. I don't hate straight people. I don't hate Jesus. I just want to be able to visit my dying husband if he should get in a car accident. I want to rest assured that my children won't be taken away from me if my partner should die. I want to know that the house I've lived in for 15 years will remain mine even if my partner dies. I want power of attorney. I want joint tax benefits. I want social security and life insurance. I want exactly what every married HETEROSEXUAL couple has right now.

This whole issue just makes me sad, very sad, even more so than angry or surprised. Why do these people hate me so much? Why do they think that I can't make my own decisions about my life and my future? Why do they think that I can't be in a loving, monogamous relationship? I can be a good father AND a good husband. I promise. I'm smart. I'm hardworking. I pay taxes and vote and support democracy. I would just like to participate as fully as I can in my government and, in return, receive the maximum benefit from being a citizen under the law. I was born American. I am American. And like it or not, I will marry in America.

It may not be tomorrow, or next week or even next year. But I will marry in America because I truly believe in the goodness of the American political system.

Of course, our system is not perfect. Compared to the rest of the Western developed world, America is severely lacking in social justice movements. However, I still have hope. Democracy works. It may not be quick and it may not be perfect, but it does work. I have hope for my future and for the future of my queer peers.

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